Intimacy and Older People

Loss of a partner: Loss or absence of a partner is probably the most common age-related barrier to intimacy.

Disorders: Various disorders become more common as people age. They can interfere with physical intimacy. Vascular disorders and diabetes can cause erectile dysfunction Essentials for Older People: Erectile Dysfunction Erectile dysfunction (ED) is the inability to attain or sustain an erection satisfactory for sexual intercourse. (See also Overview of Sexual Dysfunction in Men.) Every man occasionally has... read more . Arthritis Osteoarthritis (OA) Osteoarthritis is a chronic disorder that causes damage to the cartilage and surrounding tissues and is characterized by pain, stiffness, and loss of function. Arthritis due to damage of joint... read more can limit movements and make them painful. The pain, discomfort, medications, and worry associated with a disorder can dampen the desire for intimacy. Cognitive impairment and dementia Dementia Dementia is a slow, progressive decline in mental function including memory, thinking, judgment, and the ability to learn. Typically, symptoms include memory loss, problems using language and... read more may complicate issues of consent and comfort with intimacy. For the partner, the stress and demands of caregiving may interfere with intimacy.

Use of medications: Older people are more likely to take medications (such as medications to treat high blood pressure or that affect brain function). Some of them can cause problems affecting intimacy (for example, erectile dysfunction or a reduced sex drive).

Age-related changes: Levels of sex hormones decrease, causing changes that make sexual intercourse uncomfortable or difficult. For example, the lining of the vagina may thin (atrophy), and vaginal lubrication may be reduced. Sex drive may decrease.

Reluctance to discuss effects of aging: Older people who develop problems that interfere with physical intimacy or who feel embarrassed about changes in their body (for example, wrinkles or sagging flesh) may be reluctant to discuss these changes with their partner or with their doctor.

Discrepancy in expectations of partners: One partner may want certain physical expressions of intimacy, but the other does not.

Lack of privacy: Older people who live with family members or in a residential care facility have fewer opportunities for privacy, which are necessary for physical intimacy.

Shift to other forms of intimacy: Passions may mellow after years of living together. Sexual intercourse may become less frequent or stop. Many couples—most without paying much attention to it—grow to prefer other forms of intimacy (such as touching, massaging, kissing, or verbal expressions of affection) that express familiarity, caring, or engagement with their partner.