Temper tantrums are common in childhood. They usually appear toward the end of the first year, are most common between ages 2 (the terrible twos) and 4, and are typically infrequent after age 5. If tantrums are frequent after age 5, they may persist throughout childhood.
Causes of temper tantrums include frustration, tiredness, and hunger. Children also may have temper tantrums to seek attention, obtain something, or avoid doing something. Parents often place the blame on themselves (because of imagined poor parenting) when the real cause is often a combination of the child’s personality, immediate circumstances, and developmentally normal behavior. Rarely, an underlying mental, physical, or social problem may be the cause and is more likely if a tantrum lasts for more than 15 minutes or if tantrums occur multiple times each day.
A child who is having a temper tantrum may shout, scream, cry, thrash about, roll on the floor, stomp, and throw things. Some of the behavior may be rage-like and potentially harmful. The child may become red in the face and hit or kick. Some children may voluntarily hold their breath for a few seconds and then resume normal breathing (unlike breath-holding spells Breath-Holding Spells A breath-holding spell is an episode in which the child involuntarily stops breathing and loses consciousness for a short period immediately after a frightening or emotionally upsetting event... read more , which also can occur after temper tantrums or crying bouts caused by frustration).
(See also Overview of Behavioral Problems in Children Overview of Behavioral Problems in Children Children acquire many skills as they grow. Some skills, such as controlling urine and stool, depend mainly on the level of maturity of the child's nerves and brain. Others, such as behaving... read more .)
Although many children can calm themselves and bring their tantrum under control in a few minutes if they are given a safe setting in which to do so (for example, a time-out The time-out technique Children acquire many skills as they grow. Some skills, such as controlling urine and stool, depend mainly on the level of maturity of the child's nerves and brain. Others, such as behaving... read more ), other children have difficulty stopping tantrums on their own. In most cases, addressing the source of the tantrum only prolongs it. It is therefore preferable to redirect and distract children by providing an alternative activity on which to focus. Children may benefit from being removed physically from the situation.